Volume 3, Chapter 2

        The year is 1963, my folks own the Echo Motel on Hwy 50 by Ski Run Blvd.  There's six of us, Mom and Dad, my two sisters and my brother and me, oh, and Brandy the boxer dog too. It is early summer. I was already helping out with the maids cleaning the rooms and taking care of the guests but not really digging  working  there and hanging out with the tourist kids . Behind the motel is the Ski Run Marina , owned by Billy Wilson and Y.A Tittle, Wilson the retired QB for the 49er's and Y.A the retired coach.
         Billy Wilson hires me for a dollar a day to clean up the beach first thing in the morning , Yes,I was picking up trash on the beach at 8 years old . Cigarette butts , candy wrappers ,  used condoms, you name it . I put the trash in a little red bucket that the security guard set outside the night before . This " guard " is an old guy that really did nothing . He had a cot in the little room that served as the rental office and marina headquarters . He would come in late at night and lock himself in this room and get drunk and then I'd wake him up when I was done with the trash clean up .
         After picking up the trash  I'd wake up the  security guard  and start on the rest of my duties. I'd fuel up the rental boats and use a wet sponge and towel to clean them up and get them ready for that days use by the tourists . Ski boats , little fishing boats , Kayaks , you name it Ski Run Marina had it, a snack bar and a little thrown together building made of 2 by 4's that was walled in with chicken wire . Inside were 4 pinball machines sitting on a plywood floor . Most of my dollar a day wages went to play pinball and eat ice cream sandwiches from the snack bar.
         It was around this time that I was nicknamed Spider.I'd come up with this weird contortionist thing that went like this. I bent over at the waist and bent my knees , then putting my arms between my legs until my hands were flat on the ground , then slowly lower myself so I was walking on my hands with my legs resting on the inside of my elbows, legs pointing out in front . I got so I could walk on my hands and I guess it looked pretty freaky and the guys at the beach started calling me Spider. They called it the spider walk. I certainly couldn't do that now !
        The marina also had this really cool old wooden Chris Craft boat that was used for tours with the Capt. giving a running commentary on the history of the lake as well as pointing out various mountains and how deep and wide the lake was and the history of Tahoe . They let me ride along if there was an empty seat so I got to know the speech the Capt. gave very well and eventually they let me give the talk. I loved doing this , I'd stand up on the red leather upholstered seat , barefoot of course and in my trunks. I'd gesture with outstretched skinny arms and tell the stories of Tahoe. The trip was to Emerald Bay , around the island , with more talk of the history of The Vikingsholm and the tea house on Fannet Island. Then it was full throttle back to the marina . Man,I loved that boat,the sound it made, the polished wood and chrome . If there was a little chop on the lake the spray would come over the bow and everyone would laugh and shout as they got a little wet from the clear cold water splashing them in the face.
         It's funny how all these years later I'm still making that trip . No, I don't have a beautiful wooden boat and no , I'm not that skinny little Spider anymore but we still go to Emerald Bay every chance we get . My body has taken a toll over the years of physical labor so I'm not so limber anymore so no more spider walk . My boat is now a cabin cruiser . When Christy and Lucky and I head over to the bay to spend a night or two we are all smiles . I still love it !
        I wrote about being thankful yesterday and I left something out . I'm thankful I still live in this beautiful place even if my back is sore from shoveling and it's freezing ass cold outside. If you ever want a tour on my boat from south shore to emerald bay and back , give me a call and I'll do my best to recall my little tour guide talks from 47 years ago. Reservation required . Price ? free.
   Take care , Bob of the boat        

Special Holiday Edition

       So happy Thanksgiving everyone! It's a holiday that I really like , as it's  not religious or forced into phony over hyped patriotism . Just family and friends getting together for a big meal and reflecting on what you have to be thankful for . Oh yes, there's also the parade on TV and maybe some football thrown in as well .
       A family tradition at our house was as we sat at the table was for everyone to take turns saying what they were thankful for. I'm thankful for all of you , my wonderful and supportive friends and family. The last year and a half has been a bit of a struggle as I adapt to no longer having a job after all these years . I thank each and everyone of you for your kind words and thoughts .
       I'm thankful for my best friend Christy, who has been with me all these years through thick and thin. She's always there for me no matter what. It would take me days to thank all of you for the things you've added to my life, so suffice it to say, I love you all!
        Christy is going to cook a turkey and I'll make a vegetable stuffing with grated zucchini, carrot, onion sauteed in butter and garlic, lemon juice with some tarragon and add corn bread cubes last. I can't wait !
       So enjoy the day and take some time to think of those close to you and on a broader scale think of others . Those less fortunate , those that are sick or homeless or the ones fighting  pointless wars far from home. Think of that friend you've fallen out of touch with and give him a call. Think of all the great times you've had , they far outweigh the bad times. Find a radio station that's playing Arlo Guthrie's " Alice's Restaurant " as you get busy in the kitchen.
        Turn on some music or watch the game as the warmth and smells from the kitchen fill your house . A glorious tradition . I.m going to start grating the veggies now as I'm getting anxious already and it's not even close to dinner time . I'm a man who LOVES turkey .
        Take care and smile big , smile real big and let your troubles melt away for a day . Bob the turkey baster

Volume 4

            So my Christy said I shouldn't write about politics but as Popeye used to say " I can't stands it no more " . What with GW Bush on his book tour and him boasting about ordering torture and really having no regrets , well... I can't stands it no more.
            This clown ignored warnings about 9 11 that were handed to him a month prior and then just sort of stupidly shrugs his shoulders and says " How could we of known? ". Then in the aftermath his head of EPA declares the air safe to breath in the clean up . Those workers are now sick with a wide variety of illnesses .
             He decides along with the VP Darth Cheney and several large corporations who stand to make huge profits , to invade Afghanistan and then Iraq .It's all based on lies and forged documents accusing those countries of things that were complete fabrications.
             The justifications for attacking these countries kept shifting as they were outed to be lies . First it was weapons of mass destruction, then it was poison gas and deadly biological agents , then it was to get rid of Saddam , then it was to get rid of the Taliban for there harsh treatment of women . Next up was we need to bring freedom to the Iraqi people even as we were bombing the crap out of there country and and massacring the citizens. Now its we can't leave until the country is safe . Hell, they were safe until we got there . There are so many things wrong with these wars it's hard to know where to get started to even make a list of all the mistakes and fraud .
             G W Bush and lots of the people in his administration are war criminals and should be tried as such . W also used 9 11 to justify such horrible things as the patriot act which allows govt. agents to tap your phones and search your home when you're not there and plant listening devices ....all with out a warrant . Just kind of on a hunch.
             So this creepy loser is on a book tour , smirking at the camera while millions lost there homes and life savings and hundreds of thousands have lost there lives . Countries that were once allies and good trade partners are not so thrilled with the old USA anymore. But the former chimp in chief seems oblivious to the mess he left behind .
              Well I better pull on my boots and fire up the blower, there's a lot of snow out there . Take care , Bob

Volume 3

        Okay , so I wanted to write about politics , the economy or any number of things , but because I mentioned scorpions in a milk carton at the end of volume 2, I figured I'd better get that over with and wash my hands ( and mind ) of the whole scorpion affair .
        It's the spring of 1963, I'm in the third grade at Bijou Elementary . The school has a nice playground with a huge field stretching out past the blacktop , as pavement was referred to in those days . Way in the far end of the field me and some other kids found a nest of scorpions , they were small and kind of a light brown . I think most would agree that these are a truly  creepy insect , what with there out stretched  pincers and the arced stinger tail waving around  and there spider like legs . But as little boys, at least the weirdos like me , we found them fascinating and at the same time scary .
       One day this kid brought out a empty milk carton from the cafeteria and with my help we started scooping scorpions into the opening with a stick . He got three in there and closed the pour spout . Now I'm being totally honest here , I thought he was just collecting these things to to take home or to let go in another part of the field or something . The recess bell rang and we went back to our classroom .
        Whether it was intentional or not I don't know but the scorpions got loose in the room . The girls all climbed up on the chairs at there desks and the boys all started hooting and hollering . It was chaos and it was great . The little things were going every which way evoking screams from the girls and laughter and shouting from the boys , one of the kids threw up so now we had that to deal with as well as the renegade insects , which in my mind's eye they seemed to be growing even as I watched this whole thing unfurl .
        The janitor finally showed up with his first weapon of choice being a broom , a regular old stick broom , not a push broom . He started by trying to sweep the enemy away into the hall but that wasn't working . They became more frantic and were really scurrying around so that now the boys were screaming to . He finally got them into one side of the room and the teacher had us march out single file into the hallway closing the door behind us leaving the janitor in there with the creepy crawlies.
        After some time the janitor emerged victorious with the waste bucket in one hand and his trusty broom in the other .Our Hero ! But then ,whether it was planned or not ,we had a fire drill . We were already in the hall so we all head out to the playground , not far from scorpion land .
        My gawd they've got us surrounded ! They're in the school , they are in the play field , they're everywhere . It's no wonder I was such a nervous kid . A chipmunk in my pants , marauding gangs of scorpions at school and so many other things waiting to" get me" .
        Actually, I was cool with garter snakes , lizards and frogs as I was always catching them  and putting them in my aquariums and cages in my bedroom along side my monster models and little stacks of sci fi / horror books and magazines. A mad scientist in the making !
       So you be good and do what you should . Take care , Bob                   

Volume 2

       Okay , if you're reading this you must have survived my first foray into the recollections of some of my early years . My wonderful sisters Michele and Linda reminded me of some things that the years had blurred in my mind .  At Woodwardia we had a burro along with the other critters . Michele liked to make banana fritters , which are fried bananas then rolled in powdered suguar . Sounds odd but they were really good . We had a lot of poison oak which when we first moved in was a constant problem . Also a underground hand pump gas tank my Dad had installed because we were miles from a filling station and when you live out in the sticks its good to have gas on hand to fuel up your 1949 Buick or whatever other car we had at the time .
       Linda reminded me of a pet chipmunk I had , although I never really forgot about it , I just needed a nudge . I caught this little guy with some rabbit food on the ground and a box propped up with a stick to which I had a long piece of string attached as I sat patiently for hours waiting for a taker . I lost several but finally got lucky and caught one ! Ran up the stairs on the side of the house and put him in the little cage in my bedroom .
        The chipmunk was not happy with his new environment . He chattered and squeaked but eventually quieted down , as most prisoners do . Little did I know he was plotting his escape and revenge on the little boy with the butch haircut who smelled of Rocky Road candy bars and root beer .
        One morning I opened his cage to feed him and he leapt out onto the hardwood floor and was scurriyng about until I cornered him . I was not prepared for happened next . He ran up the inside of my " official " Roy Rogers pajama bottoms . Yikes ! This little rodent was looking for nuts . MINE ! I clasped my hands around my upper thigh to prevent his travel north on his mission to castrate me me or at the very least have me singing tenor in the school play.
         I yelled for my Mom and she rushed in and pulled down my pants and I got the beast back in its cage . Mom convinced me to release it back to where I caught it . I did and as the little guy was hopping back to freedom one of our cats snatched it up in its mouth and ran off into the woods with it .
        So the moral of the story is , never have a chipmunk for a " pet " and if you see one and its looking at you in a funny kind of way ,....Run ! The little bastards will render you sexless in a heartbeat and you will forever have to live with the fact of being neutered by a small squirrell .
         Thanks for reading this , if you don't like it let me know . If you don't like it I will send you a scorpion in a milk carton .... but that's another story for another time . Take care , Bob

Volume 1

        Okay, here I go . A few old friends and a couple of family members have suggested I either go on Facebook or write a column for a paper . I'm flattered but not very  confident in my skills as a writer so I thought I would try this , an e mail to my good friends and family to see what you think .
        I'm not college educated nor a man of profound thought , but I do enjoy writing and reading , cooking , fishing , boating and a host of other things . It seems like at this time in my life it might be a good time to share my thoughts and memories . I don't mean to sound egotistical or self serving , I merely want to spin a yarn or two .
       When I was 5 and 6 years old we lived in the Santa Cruz Mtns. in what was at one time an old resort called Woodwardia with a pool (that was completely unusable due to poor construction and maintenance ) and three little cabins on the property down the hill from the main house . My dad worked a lot of overtime at Falstaff to buy this place . He also bought my Mom a green Buick with white upholstery. I think it was a convertible and in real good shape . My Mom didn't know how to drive but she learned on those empty roads amongst the redwoods and ferns . Probably squished more than a few banana slugs on the road as those yellow critters were everywhere . I went to school in Los Gatos for kindergarten and then to Loma Prieta Elementary for first and second grade . My sisters went to Los Gatos for high school . My brother was born in this time frame , I think it was 59 or there abouts .  My sisters teased me some as older sibilings do, as I later tormented my little brother  .
        It was a good time in my young life . Dad brought home a Boxer dog from somebody he worked with at the brewery ! It had killed some chickens and Dad took it in . It was a Brindle Boxer named Brandy . A big dog with a big heart . I loved that dog and my time wandering through the forest with our big old Boxer  at my side . We had a horse and raised rabbits . Not the pet kind of bunnies . These were raised for food . I watched as Dad killed and skinned them and then I'd take them up to the house for mom to clean and butcher . It was pretty brutal but I learned a lot . We ate a lot of rabbit back then and it was good . My Mom would feed the horse a beer and an egg mixed in with its oats , supposedly helping give it a shiny coat .  
       This is where I learned to ride a two wheeler and shoot my Dad's Winchester 22. He was a very good shot and could shoot the mistletoe off the oak trees on our property to hang in our big old rambling house on Christmas . I 've still got that gun , Dad gave it to me years ago and it still shoots straight as an arrow . Kinda like my Dad ... old , reliable and a straight shooter, and looks good too!
       So I've got some beef stew on the stove that needs to be stirred and  a fire that needs to be stoked , bring in more wood and get ready for the next little snow storm . Let me know if this is okay to send you stuff like this . My intent is not to bore you so if  you  don't care for this no hard feelings . I will write more about my take on politics and the world at large as time allows . Take care , Bob of the boat . p.s  thanks to Jim for the idea of Porter's Corner