Brainwashing Boot Camp

   So it's September of 1997, I'm driving my garbage truck almost at the end of my route. It's raining heavily and I'm soaked to the skin. I get a call on the radio from Jeff, the big boss at the company telling me to come upstairs and see him as soon as I'm done . Oh boy, what am I in trouble for now? I make my way back to the yard and with wet hair clinging to my cheeks and enter the office. Two other drivers are already there along with Jeff. The boss announces that the route supervisor had given notice of leaving and would one of us be interested in taking that position.

    The boss also says there will be a pay raise and a company truck to whoever takes the job. He doesn't want an answer right then, just go home and think about it and get back to him. I found it strange that he was asking all three of us at once and said as much to him.

     I come home and Christy is at work. I go around the corner to my friend Dan's house and he's not home either. I had no one to talk this over with. So I pace the floor thinking should I do this or not. My knees and back were getting worse from years of wear and tear and I liked the idea of not driving the truck and not dumping cans. On the negative side this is the dreaded middle management position, taking heat from all sides. The owners, the customers, the crew and just about everyone else.

    After much thought I called back to work and accepted the position that afternoon. Jeff was glad to hear it but there was a catch. I had to attend a training seminar from an outfit called Rapport Leadership International. This is a three day seminar held at an old ranch out in the middle of the Nevada desert about, 100 miles east of Las Vegas. Jeff and some of the other owners of STR had been through this training as well. I agree to go through with this and Jeff signs me up for this program and makes plane reservations.

  After a bit I start getting newsletters from this Rapport outfit. They are all really vague as to what they're really about and whats in this training. I ask the owners at STR and they won't talk about it either, it's all a big secret. Then shortly before my departure for the desert, Jeff hands me a paper sack containing an odd assortment of items. A little plastic knife like a kid would play with, some cough drops, a compass, a package of balloons and some other stuff. Again with no explanation.

  The big day arrives and I fly into Vegas and take a cab to this office building where this outfit is headquartered, duffel bag with fresh clothes in one hand and my little sack that Jeff gave me in the other. I walk into this room and there's about thirty people there all with there little paper sacks and over night bags. Everyone is full of questions. "What's this all about?", "what am I supposed to do with these kiddy toys my boss gave me?".Suddenly a very large black man dressed all in black enters the room and starts shouting at everyone to set down there suitcases and paper bags and form a line single file, shoulder to shoulder and there's to be no talking. The guy standing next to me saw I was wearing a Dale Earnhardt t shirt and whispered he is a fan to. The big guy in black heard him and got in his face shouting at him to shut up and then glared at me.

    We were then instructed gather up our stuff and to pile into the vans outside for our trip to Rainbow Ranch, "and NO talking". It was a long bumpy ride on the unpaved desert road.Me and my new NASCAR fan buddy sat in the back of the van comparing the odd items given to us by our bosses in our paper sacks.

     Rainbow Ranch was at one time a real working ranch, although old it's in pretty fair shape. A large dining hall and kitchen with several adjoining rooms that had bunk beds and a couple of bathrooms at the end of the hall. There is a river off in the distance with some trees but we were immediately told that it was off limits to go over to the river.

     I was assigned to one of the rooms to share with three other guys.Once in the safe confines of our bunkhouse everyone wants to know "why are they yelling at us?", "what kind of program is this?". One guy says he'd been in the military and that's how they treat you in boot camp. Break you down, then fill you with their propaganda and then build you back up with all kinds of positive talk making you believe the bullshit.

    In no time at at all we were all called in for our first training session or class or whatever the heck it was. There was a blond woman all dressed in black and right off the bat she starts shouting at everyone to shut up and pay attention.We are all wearing name tags and she calls on me first to give a speech on the importance of punctuality, five minutes in lenght. Oh yeah and you have to say everything in a very loud voice and you also have to address everyone there by their last names. So as the seconds tick by I gave it my best shot. I did okay but the last couple of minutes I'd run out of stuff to talk about punctuality so I resorted to telling jokes. The blond in black called on a woman after me and this lady was pissed off. She says "Everybody here had there company pay for them to be here. I'm self employed and I didn't pay 600 bucks to be yelled at and treated this way". She was told they would give her a ride back to Vegas and her 600 dollars was un refundable.

   We were forced to write letters to friends family or our bosses saying how much we loved being there and what a positive experience it was and that they to should sign up for the "training". After writing numerous essays and shouting out lots of speeches on the most ludicrous of topics, group hugs and a bunch of other nonsense, we got closer to graduation.

    Now this final day at this place was most interesting. You were required to give an impassioned speech about how much you got out of the time you spent at Rainbow Ranch and the training. If you don't do it good enough you have to keep doing it until the people in the black clothes are satisfied. The first person chosen gave a good talk but the harsh instructors said "not good enough, not enough emotion". I'm called up next. Now I'd seen thru this whole scam early on, plus I figure I'll never see these people again so what do I care. I take the floor and go all out. Flailing my arms about and shouting what a marvelous journey this has been and now I'm a changed man. I throw myself to the floor and start crying and blubbering what a wonderful program it is.

   I passed with flying colors. A nod to my brother Eric, you're not the only actor in the family!So I set the bar pretty high for the rest of the contestants. After my performance everyone was rolling around on the floor and doing anything they could to get approval of the people in black.Once that was all done we sat in a circle and the lady in black goes on to explain the more advanced class that is more physical in nature and gives out the dates and then she passes around a sign up sheet for the date you want and the big black guy is there with a device to slide there credit cards through.And you know what? Everyone but me signs up for phase 2 ,even the girl that was so angry at the beginning. Brain washing at its finest my friends.

  So after they get every ones money to come back and climb ropes and walk on burning coals(yes, that was part of phase 2)we are all marched out to the back deck of the ranch house and shout out the "America The Beautiful" ., the full song. There were only three people in attendance to watch this . Two of them being my boss and his wife . I thought that was cool as they came all that way to hear me do this and then drive me back to the airport. My throat was as everybody elses extremely hoarse from shouting for three days. And yes, if you didn't shout it out loud enough you had to keep doing it until you were approved by the people in black.

   Now I can't say this whole thing was useless. I came away with more self confidence and I found out how easily people can be manipulated. Looking back on it I guess in some ways it helped me(but mostly it was bullshit). Oh a couple of last things. The paper sacks with kid toys? Really they meant nothing other than to make you curious and nervous about what your going to be involved with in this adventure. This outfit was sued out of existence as there were many injuries during phase two. Some people had there toenails catch fire while walking on the hot coals and suffered severe burns. The safety harness failed while people were climbing the rope and there were broken bones. The cafeteria failed many inspections by the health dept.

   Another thing I learned while there was from and older gentlleman who was a CEO for a large steel company and was in charge of a huge number of employees . I expressed my nervousnes about becoming the new supervisor at the garbage co.. As we had lunch together one day I asked....Should I be strict?... should I be freindly?  Or what? He told me quite simply "Bob, just be yourself". Good advice. Well it was good advice for a long time and then they got tired of old Bob at work and was abruptly shown the door.But thats a whole ' nother story.

Take care, Bob

Marryin' Sam

    I'm sure you've heard of Sadie Hawkins Day. If not here's a brief rundown. A long time ago there was a popular comic strip called Li'l Abner and it took place in a remote village called Dogpatch which was populated with hillbillies and other country type folks. There was a woman in the comic strip named Sadie Hawkins who was "not too purty" as Al Capp the cartoonist wrote it, and single. Her father, anxious to get her married and out of his house, started a contest. All the single men would line up for a foot race with Sadie running behind. Whoever she caught that guy had to marry her.

   Well this idea from the comic strip caught on and there were lots of Sadie Hawkins dances where the girl would ask the guy to go to the dance rather than the other way around. So this brings me to tell you when I was "Marryin' Sam"

  I'm in the eighth grade here at the Intermediate school, as it was called back then in 1967. It's announced there's going to be a Sadie Hawkins dance so it's up to the girls to ask the boys for a date. The girls really seemed to like this idea,...the boys, well, not so much.

   Now for reasons unknown to me I was chosen by the teachers to be "Marryin' Sam", the Preacher who would say the wedding vows and unite the couples at the dance in Holy Matrimony. Can I get a "Hallelujah" brothers and sisters , Amen.So I was reluctant to do this at first but then I really got into it. I used some white medical tape on a black turtleneck shirt to make a preacher's collar and I started practicing reciting the wedding vows. I had been to a few weddings as well as watched fake ones on TV so I had a general idea of what to say or should I say "invoke".

  The big day arrives, my Dad drops me off at the school and I'm wearing the the shirt with the tape for a collar. A girl I know comes running over with a large black hat with a flat brim to complete the look of the Preacher. She plunks it down on my head. Now I started feeling kinda foolish.

    We all enter the school and head to the auditorium. The lights are only partly on so it's pretty dark . In one corner there's a teacher with a stack of records and a turntable set up on a table. In another corner is a wooden lectern with an overhead spotlight shining down on it, that's were I'm supposed to perform the "ceremonies". When I see my "pulpit" and the spotlight my stomach turns into knots. I think to myself, "I can't do this". A bad case of cold feet and stage fright. I spin around on my heels and head for the door figuring I'll just walk home. I'm stopped by a group of girls who grab me by the arms and surround me. The leader of the pack, Leevon, gets in my face and tells me I HAVE to do this, everyone is counting on me. I'm pushed and pulled back to the room and take my place behind the wooden stand with the light beaming down

   In a very short time a line was forming for couples to be "Hitched". The girls were all just ...beaming! Eye's sparkling, hair all done up and wearing their favorite dress. The boys on the other hand had there heads bent down looking at their shoes , tugging at the side of their corduroy pants with one hand while reluctantly holding the girls hand with the other.

 After I went through the first couple of little ceremonies I really began to enjoy this . Yes, the ham in me came out and I really started playing it up. Gesturing with my hands, modulating my voice, oh yeah and I got rid of the hat. Before I knew it the line before me was huge. Not to sound too braggadocios, but I put on quite a show.

  At the end of dance Leevon came over to me and said she wanted to marry me.I said I couldn't as I was the Preacher and couldn't be married. I could see I hurt her feelings and we never really talked after that. I'm sorry Leevon , wherever you are.

 Dad picked me up in the car and drove me home. I remember being really tired but also kind of happy. I liked being in the spot light standing behind the lectern and reciting the vows along with the occasional corny joke. Once a ham, always a ham.

      Take care, Bob or "Marryin' Sam" if you prefer.

Iceman

   So yesterday I was chipping at the ice in the driveway and thought of Sisyphus, a story from Greek mythology. Sisyphus had tricked the devil and avoided his demise. When he finally died at a ripe old age he found himself in Hades. Satan assigns him the task of rolling a large boulder up a hill only to have it roll to the bottom when he's almost to the top. Then repeat this task for all eternity...always pushing the boulder up the hill, over and over.
 
   I had been doing good with keeping the driveway, back deck and wood pile pretty clear of snow. We had a few good sized storms that were heavy with wet snow. The temperatures finally rose a little and all that heavy snow began to fall from the weighted branches making for a constant whumping sound on the roof.

   I thought "Oh I'll get to it tomorrow morning, I'm sore from shoveling right now". Big mistake. The temperature plunged that night and everything froze up. So as I pick at the ice in the driveway I thought of that old Greek story. No , I'm not Sisyphus, no my driveway isn't the hill and the snow and ice isn't the boulder that he had to push for eternity. Their are similarities though.

   My neighbor / tenant called out to me the other day as I was chipping away and said,  "You're really in your element, aren't you Bob". I laughed and said maybe I am. But my real "element" is something entirely different.....Waking up early on the boat,watching the sunrise. Start the engine,  trolling along the shoreline at a slow speed, lots of line out with my favorite lure tied firmly to the end, watchting and waiting for my pole to bend as I get a bite. Sitting on the back deck watching the eagles and osprey in their nests. The waterfowl as they glide across the glassy water looking for a fish breakfast. Fire up the stove to heat the water for Christy's morning coffee and cookies. Lucky and I have already had an early breakfast. As the day unfolds we go for several dips into the cool water and listen to music and get a dinner ready. Then it's  time for a game of Rummy and maybe a movie on the portable dvd player. Falling asleep looking up at the stars from the overhead windows in the v berth up in the bow of the boat. Now THAT'S my "element"!

   A long time ago my friend Doug and I used to say "If you want to dance you have to pay the fiddler".So maybe thats what its all about. I can't ski anymore so now I'm relagated to shoveling and chopping at the ice so I can enjoy my time in the sun come summer.Hhmm...
funny how things work out.

   Take care, Bob of the boat ...(in a few months anyway)

Religion and Politics

    I'd like to start off by thanking those that wrote me back regarding the tragedy in Tuscon. I'm aware that my view of things you may not share but I'm glad you shared yours with me.At least I know your reading this drivel. It takes me a long time to peck these things out with one finger so I appreciate any and all input. Many of you are conservative politically so sometimes I feel all alone out here in the Liberal landscape.I did think of this as I read your replies.

    One day last summer, like so many others , I decided to sit outside in my folding chair. I gather up all my stuff, the portable radio, Mother Jones magazine, peanuts and a glass of wine. It's a beautiful day with the sun filtering through the trees . A light breeze, just enough to lightly ring the wind chimes. Birds and squirrels at the feeder, chirping and chattering.. The yard has been watered and everything is in various stages of blossoming.

    So I get all set up, the radio tuned to NPR (national public radio) sitting on top of the stump next to my chair . Along side the radio I've got the nuts, my glass and my liberal magazine. Oh yeah , I'm in shorts, a Kucinich for president tank top and wearing my "I did not vote for Bush" bracelet on my wrist. A beautiful day in Liberal Land!

   My neighbor across the street is working in his garage and walks on over. We exchange hellos and then he says " I'm a Christian, you know". I almost replied "I'm a Capricorn", but thought better of it. He went on to tell me of his moral values and such . I don't know why he was telling me this. Was it my shirt that prompted him? The magazine? Was he boasting or trying to convert me? It just seemed kinda odd to me. But I guess some people like to wear their religion on there sleeve.He goes back to his garage and I go back to reading.

     A short time later another Knox street neighbor walks over and says "boy you should of heard what Rush Limbaugh had to say the other day". I'm thinking "no I shouldn't". But he tells me anyway. It's all about how bad Obama is ,especially Michele Obama. He went on for quite awhile about how Obama is a terrible president and he also made more than a few racist remarks. I kept quiet as I try and keep the peace with everyone around here . This isn't always easy as most everyone around here is a Republican and I don't agree with most of there stances on things.

     So it seems every time I'm out in the front of the house someone wants to come over and give me there two cents worth on a wide variety of topics whether I want to hear them or not. Now I'm guilty of the same thing by writing you with my opinions and stories of when I was younger. For me it's almost like therapy. Reminiscing of days gone by and pecking out my thoughts on things. Thanks for putting up with this as it gives me a small measure of joy to do this. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do creating it. I also hope I haven't bored you or offended anyone.

      Take care, Bob the old guy that's lived on this street for what seems like forever

Sad

   Well I knew it was only a matter of time. When I saw people bringing loaded guns to Tea Party rallies somebody would eventually take it to the next step and start killing people they don't agree with. The angry shouting at the town hall meetings, the signs upheld with threats of violence and a lot of people mad without really knowing what they're mad about.
    The hate speech from Fox "News" as well as Limbaugh and others is partly responsible for this . They get people stirred up and then when something happens they plead innocence. I'm sure that's what will happen today, they'll condemn the killings and then call the gunman a loner
 and a kook and they will wash the blood off their hands and start right back at it.
      Sarah Palin has some answering to do as she put on her website a map with cross hairs on several locations around the country as being targeted. Names listed of politicians that voted for health care. One of those that was in the cross hairs was Congresswoman Gifford's who was shot in the back of the head yesterday along with several others in the crowd including a 9 year old girl that died as well as many others that were there to talk to there representative.
       Those on the right will say that the Dem's and lefty liberals are guilty of the same tactics that they use. Not really. On the left you have people who are angry but you don't see them with guns at a public venue spewing hatred and threatening violence.
       I believe in the right to free speech as well as the right to own a gun , but with those rights come responsibilities. Words have consequences and guns can be deadly.Both must handled with care and thoughtfulness. Several people on the public stage have said some really careless things involving guns. Sharon Angle when running against Harry Reid spoke of "Second ammendment remedies". Sarah Palin said "Don't retreat...reload", to name just a few.
       My thoughts go out to the victims and their families. I hope this is a wake up call to those that promote violence to stop, but who knows maybe it will encourage them to continue.
     Thats all for now. Take care, Bob

Heavenly Valley

    So the year is 1972, I just quit American River community college after a whopping two month stay. Didn't even make it through the first quarter. Didn't like Sacramento and I really missed Tahoe. So I pack my stuff in the Camaro and come home. My folks were disappointed but were understanding . They insisted I get a job NOW as they said I wasn't going to just hang out and party with my friends. As luck would have it they were leaving for a two week trip so I had the place to myself.
     I didn't want to work at the casinos so I thought about applying at the mountan I grew up on , Heavenly Valley. I drive up there and they wouldn't even give me an application....my hair was too long. So I get a hair cut and go back ...nope, still too long.This calls for drastic measures. I get my hair cut a third time, real short and get dressed in the latest '72 fashion. A matching brown Levi suit. Flared bell bottom trousers, matching jacket and a buttoned up white shirt. Man , did I look like a dork! But hey, I got the application and after the interview a job! Starting wage ? The princely sum of $2.25 an hour. And I quit school for this?
    The ski area wasn't open yet, no snow, so they give me a bucket of paint and a brush and I start painting the interior of the main lodge. I noticed this strange little man kept checking on my painting. He eventually introduced himself. His name was James Bond. Now this guy is about as opposite from Sean Connery's 007 James Bond as you could imagine. He's short with a bad comb over and he's over the top gay. He's the interior decorator / special events planner for Heavenly Valley.
     One day as I'm painting he tells me Iv'e been transferd to his department and I now work for him. Now I have nothing against gay people,but this was a little awkward as I was the only person in his department and he seemed to really like me, I mean REALLY like me..He would walk me around from one building to the next pointing out colors he wanted changed or different drapes and such. This was not only strange but  embarassing. I knew nothing about interior design and I hated his color choices and the whole thing ...well, it was just plain weird!
     Fortunately the old guy that ran the lift crew, Frank Moore, rescued me and put me on the chair lift crew. Now these were my type of folks. These chair lift attendants are all a little crazed, a littlle shady and always up for a good time. What a cast of chararcters! I fit right in with this bunch of weirdos.
     Once the the boss discovers I can ski he sticks me up at the very top of the mountain, the top of the sky chair. I'm in a tiny hut with a heater and a portable radio. Also it's a little
 over 10,000 feet in elevation . A great view of the lake and basically you  just watch skiers disembark from  the chair ride without any difficulty. Once in awhile someone will have a ski come off or they fall as they stand up to get off the chair, thats when you hit the stop button halting the chair and you help the skier get it together.
      I knew all the guys on the ski patrol and they let me join them for the sweep.When the last skier gets off the lift at the end of the day all the patrolers gather at the top of the mountain and break up into pairs and each pair takes a different run looking for anyone that's either lost or injured. So your'e sweeping the slopes to make sure no one is left there through the night. It's really quiet except for the ocasional shout of  one of the patrol guys or myself  yelling out "last run" or "everybody head down to the bottom, the lifts are closing". This was done to make sure all the skiers make it to the bottom and are safe and sound.
      I really enjoyed this. Youv'e got the whole mountain to yourself, the sun is going down and it's just you and some other guys that are good skiers. As I make my way to the bottom of the mountain I'm making big turns on empty ski runs. By now it's getting dark and its time to lock the doors and gates, turn on the lights, make sure everything's secure and head home and start a fire. Come back tomorow and do it all over again.
      After awhile I started working on the tram, but thats another story. Take care, Bob